Missing

Missing the breath next to you,

listening to the chest beneath your head

beating with your name.

But then

come the lies you remember.

Every breath was paired with a lie so deep,

sharp edges under your skin,

bleeding through your body.

The warmth of the lying body

never held the cold of the soul.

Missing the hand that grabbed you,

the arm that held you,

the small warm kiss that gave life back to you.

You felt

so complete,

so within.

Nothing was missing from your life

for a split second

then everything rose to fight your whole being.

You realize

you got it all wrong.

You were so hurt, so much blood filled your ears

You couldn’t hear the scream of your own voice 

Peace was broken by the other party 

while you sacrificed of your own being

just for the search of that split second 

You spent lifetimes in hell. 

Missing the home,

sitting in front of the fire, the warmth, the light. 

Then you remember

It was the fire that burned the house down.

You remember begging to the fire.

You remember the match in their hands, their cold lying eyes. 

Nothing worked, nothing held.

whole world crashed you under. 

You wake up to your body,

Still breathing 

Still here.

Missing but never looking for it again.