Depth of Helplessness

I have reached
the deepest room of helplessness.

There is one soul
I would shield from every blade,
yet i have nothing. 

I cannot stand between her
and the swords.
I cannot protect
her dreams. 

I have dreams too,
but beside hers,
they feel small.

If her future
must be paid for with mine,
I would leave it. 

Still, I do not know
if my ruin could keep her
city, life alive. 

Because I once dreamed
of staying
of becoming a sanctuary,
a place
where nothing could reach her.

I'm here for her.

But now
I cannot even keep myself above water.

I pour myself into fullness,
and nothing fills.
I empty myself into nothing,
and still, nothing leaves.

For years,
they fed me,
held me,
caught me before I fell.

They were gave me the net beneath my life.

Now the net is gone.

And I am falling
through everything

Tell me

while I am still falling,
can I at least
keep her from falling too?